I had no idea that so many ‘celebs’ would see their own Why They’re Hot posts. The count is up to 12 now, I think, as of an hour ago when that Alexander De Leon dude tweeted about it (I have no clue who he is but don’t say anything). Craziness.
Why He’s Hot:
- ALTON BROWN IS A PROFESSIONAL CHEF. I can’t think of anything better in the world than a man who would actually be excited and enjoy cooking a meal just for the sheer epicurean desire of pleasure. The thought itself is actually mouth-watering… and then imagine all the joys of using home-made whipped creams and chocolates in the context of a bedroom. All-natural lovin’ sounds good to me.
- If you’re not attracted to him in the instant you realize how BIG HIS BRAIN IS, you’re fooling yourself. This man could use his skills of charm and intelligence to wiggle his geek-chic self into chef pants I own. The fact that he acts like a bookish chemistry teacher just adds to the older man-ish goodness. Considering I’m not even sure that he even has a real eye impediment with the way he can deconstruct a culinary concoction from across a room, the fact that he wears glasses just propels me to want to smack them seductively off his face and go at it. It’s like turning Clark Kent into Superman.
- Two tattoos and rides a motorcycle. There’s a little bit of rebel in him, and you can see it inside and outside of the kitchen.
- His wit is sharp. Almost as sharp as the knives he sponsors. And I like a man who is good with a knife. Masculine, much? Just think of all the naughtiness.
- He looks amazing for a mature gentleman, especially since he works with food for a living. He obviously exerts just enough effort in keeping himself fit which blends harmoniously with good genes… here’s where I make the cheese connoisseur reference: He’s at his peak age.
{submission}
LOVE.
Why She’s Hot:
- Breasts. Now, a lot of women say they have breasts. Whatever. They can take as many MySpace shots as they want, but they will get close to the awe-inspiring cleavage that Christina Hendricks has. Seriously, you could form a religion on that alone.
- That figure. The very definition of hourglass. She belongs in dictionary next to the term “Woman.” It’s a body built to throw you onto a bed and ride you like a pony.
- The hair. Dear God, the hair. I’m not saying non-redhead cannot be attractive, but there’s no way some blonde or brunette could ever hope to match this.
- Ass, Lips, Eyes. I wish I could just say that her body is the idealized form of human beauty and be done with it, but WTH requires five bullet points. Wait, here’s a video of said ass. We were all afraid we missed it, Roger.
- Talent. She’s amazing on Mad Men, playing a someone with immense talent who cannot get anywhere due to sexism. And she was on Firefly! And she plays the MOTHERFUCKING ACCORDION. Hotness? SETTLED.
{submission}
If I were a lesbian… *licks lips*
Why He’s Hot:
- He plays the fucking guitar. He makes the best sex faces when playing the guitar. He plays the guitar so fucking well he doesn’t need to sing (but he’s John Clayton Mayer, he can do that too!). If he can finger a fret board like that I can only imagine what he’d do….
- He wrote a song called ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’. Now if the title doesn’t make you want to get naked with him, clearly the lyrics will. And don’t even get me started with the video. discovering me, discovering you oh talk dirty to me John, don’t be afraid to use your hands, my body is your fucking wonderland!
- His body. I mean damnnnn. *drool* Don’t you just want to lick his tattoos?!
- Long hair, messy hair, buzzed, he looks good with it all! but how often are you even looking at his hair…I mean those voluptuous lips are soooo distracting. Don’t you want to bite his lower lip?!
- He’s raw and edgy and doesn’t care what people think. To the point where you go ‘holy shit did John just say he masturbates daily?!’ or rocks the ‘Borat thong’ while on vacation (that doesn’t leave much to the imagination, and I don’t care ;) )
I submitted this to the ‘Why They’re Hot’ blog, and just in case it doesn’t get published, here it is for your enjoyment.
John was one of the very first guys covered on Why They’re Hot, a test post really, before I’d really figured out what the overall theme would be, so I can’t publish this but I lovedddddddddddddddddddddddd it. So I’m reblogging. :)
Aww yeah. We’re an editors’ pick in the new Tumblr Directory. It’s business time.
I approve of this.
Why He’s Hot:
- He’s the boss. We all love a man who’s charge right? Well, C.K. here has an empire, runs an friggin’ terrestrial pole of the earth, has the flying magical reindeer game on lockdown and even enslaves millions of tiny little happy elves. You don’t get anymore in charge than that.
- He looks damn good in red. So good that it’s all he wears. He knows his colors, he works what suits him, and a man with good taste in fashion? Hot. He can stomp around our houses in those big black boots anytime.
- He knows how to make his woman happy. So much so that she’s constantly cooking turkeys and knitting sweaters and giving blowjobs and making him hot cocoa with mini marshmallows and shit. Do you think Mrs. Kringle would be doing all of that if she wasn’t happy? Nope.
- Don’t like them rotund and jolly? That’s alright, he’s fucking Santa - he’s magic. He can look however you want him too.
- He’s quite good with his hands, making all those intricate little toys for brats all over the world. I’m sure he knows how else to use those nimble fingers.
- He’s on the goddamn Coca Cola bottle, chillin’ with polar bears and shit. You can’t get any
coolerhotter than that.Here’s wishing you all a wonderful Christmas, abundant with silly, bawdy fun and hearty laughter!
The 6th reason is like a Christmas present from WTH, see? :)
Why He’s Hot:
- His hair is made of fucking fire. Look at that. Fucking fire.
- He looks intimidating, but he’s really harmless. You chicks like that stuff, right?
- He lives in a fucking volcano. Do you live in a volcano? No, you don’t.
- He has minions.
- Elliott Smith was in a band named after him.
On break until after New Year’s. Consider it a 2-week vacation for your pants.
I have much to do. Not just fucking, but some of that too. New posts on whytheyrehot will be back on January 4th.
amarisdoesit | feliciamlt | heyjpsc | whytheyrehot:
Why He’s Hot:
- He’s one hell of a vampire. He plays Stefan Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries and damn does he do it well. He’s dark and brooding and seductive and alluring, not only on set but on the street. The dude is hot, you can’t deny it. I mean, he can grab your attention away from Ian Somerhalder, and that there? Is a feat.
- He just looks through you. I don’t even know what fucking color his eyes are - green or gray or gotdamn. It doesn’t matter though, those fuckers are powerful. They’re like magnets; pulling your body to him, your top to the sky and your pants to the ground.
- He’s got one hell of a jaw, square and solid and it just screams masculinity. It’s perfect for kissing and nibbling on, yes? It’s probably the European in him, being as his parents immigrated from Poland. (Paul’s actual last name is Wasilewski.)
- That sweet, downturned mouth with it’s fleshy lips and pointed corners makes you think all sorts of things, mostly revolving around making out and oral sex. And that’s quite alright: it’s not possible for him to possess such a luscious pout and not know how to use it well.
- Welcome to the gun show. *pewpewpew!*
ahahaha. I have a feeling this is Christa? LOL
HAHAHA (= Yes, it was me. But anyways. Paul Wesley. HOTHOTHOT<3
I’m sorry, what was you? I hope you don’t mean it was you that wrote it. Because you didn’t. Or even suggested it, because no one did. I guess you meant that you thought and prayed for it REALLYREALLY hard and then BOOM it appeared. Yes. Yes, that’s what you meant.
Why He’s Hot:
- Mmmm Brandon Boyd. He’s the lead singer of the insanely awesome band Incubus and not only does he have some serious pipes, but he plays guitar and writes the songs as well. He’s so hot that even his fellow band members can’t keep their hands off of him.
- He’s the quintessential delicious California boy, with the skating and surfing and perma-tan, the long lean body and casual style. He’s a really chill, laid back guy. You know those types, they are the ones that like long walks on the beach, but not in the cheesy match.com way - in the let’s smoke some weed as we walk until the sand stops and talk about how fucking intense it is that there’s a whole ‘nother world under that water over there before we find a pier to fuck under.
- He rages against the machine. He’s a vegan, a feminist, and an atheist. He’s all about living not only the good life but a good life and with a smile like his, it wouldn’t be hard for him to convince you to throw on some Toms, give up bacon and join him in his hippie existence.
- He’s an artist and a damn good one. He designed his own tattoos, he paints, and he and his band mate Jose drew all the art for their video Drive. How sexy is that? I wouldn’t mind the paint on his fingers transferring to my clothes, skin and sheets, and neither would you.
- Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, look at those goddamn obliques. I’ll just end this here. Happy Thanksgiving mother fuckers. *drops keyboard and walks away*
He was on my mind.
